Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The further adventures of Obi "Barn" Kenobi

We used to take flashlight tours under the bridge at our favorite Big Sur campground. We would stand under the old bridge, shine our flashlights over the water, and watch the bats swoop over the surface, catching bugs.

This led to a camping tradition, wherein DH was drafted to tell the boys bedtime stories when it was time to sleep. The saga of "Barney the Bat" began. In past trips, Barney has been through many adventures, eventually wandering into an alternate dimension, where he became a Jedi and took the name "Obi Barn Kenobi."

Here is the latest episode:

Obi Barn Kenobi was sitting patiently, waiting for Yoda to finish doing his dishes after supper. Obi Barn felt something on his leg, and when he looked down, he saw a yellowjacket sitting on his ankle. He brushed it away with his hand, when he suddenly felt a sharp, intense pain, as if stabbed with a light saber! He realized he had been stung by the yellowjacket, who had flown away, and it HURT!

He tracked the "bee" to its hive, and having recently become a Jedi Master, planned to use mind control to destroy the villainous insect. He could get inside the yellowjacket's mind, and CONTROL it. Make it fly into a tree, or into a fire--anything painful that would destroy it! Obi Barn's mind was bent on REVENGE because his leg HURT, and he wanted nothing more than to HURT BACK.

When Obi Barn found the hive, there were thousands of insects swarming around it--all protecting the queen. As he approached, with his light saber drawn, 50 guard bees flew out in formation to block his progress. As a newly made Jedi Master, Obi Barn went into their minds, determined to control them.

As he went into their minds, he noticed how very teeny their minds were. No complex thought, barely room for more than one single thought at a time. Obi Barn was figuring out how to command them, when he realized all 50 of the minds had the same thought: protecting their home and their queen. Nothing else. No thoughts about stinging a big bat Jedi, or being mean, or attacking anyone who wasn't bothering them. Just protecting their family. Odd as it seemed to Obi Barn, as one single bat, to these yellowjackets all of these thousands of insects in their hive were one big family.

With a sigh, his leg still hurting from the sting, Obi Barn powered off his light saber and watched the hive for another minute. Since he was not advancing on it, the 50 guards were not moving any closer to him. Obi Barn realized he had to let go of his anger, since anger leads to the dark side. He would not give in so easily.

As you can surmise, DH pulls his plots from the day's adventures when camping. Barley got stung on the playground, and if he had possessed a light saber, there would definitely be one less yellowjacket in the world! We administered ice, ibuprofen, and uber-organized Uncle John had a special insect-bite pad and bandaid for him. Barley was so upset about the incident, he refused to go to sleep that night until all 4 of us were safe back in the tent, and NO BUGS were inside with us.

When Barley relayed the story to Teddy on the drive home the next day, it went like this:

Obi Barn got stung while waiting for Yoda to do his dishes. He tracked the bee to his hive and saw 1000s of bees. Since he was a Jedi Master, he was going to use mind control to kill them all. 50 Guard Bees got in his way, so Obi Barn decided to go home. The end.

DH was a little exasperated that Barley had missed the longer moral to the story...but in his defense, Barley had dozed off during part of it. DH was forced to retell it on the way home, so I was able to capture it for posterity here.

This trip was more of a struggle--it was VERY hot, and with no air-conditioning. I spent a couple of hours floating down the river this time. There were a TON of bugs. No bites, but inhaling wings and dust every time you breathed got tedious. The company was great though, and included one family new to camping. Food was delicious, and we all mostly enjoyed getting unplugged from city life for a while.

Home again, I count simple survival a victory this time.

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