T-shirt Napkins

So, September just flew by, didn't it?

Back to school, work trips, school placement drama for both boys---yada yada yada.

On a completely unrelated topic, I've been thinking how much I hate our cloth napkins these days.  They are really raggedy looking, and the new denim material I used to make the last batch of cloth napkins didn't work so good.  They are wrinkled like crazy out of the wash, and danged if I am going to iron *napkins*.  The older napkins are nice and soft, but they look like something you'd pull out of a rag bag to polish your shoes.  Also, I used too narrow hems on them, and they flip up annoyingly.  This could be fixed if I ironed them, but, as I said...

So, I took a pile of old T-shirts which had been threatening to eat my bed--it was bigger than this petite stack:

And turned them into this much more useful stack:

Nice wide 1" hems, and thank goodness my machine has decorative stitches on it.  I use the feather stitch almost exclusively, despite all the choices.  I find a 12-14 finished size (so cut 14-16" square) makes a nice handful.  I ditched the white and black T-shirts immediately for recycling or donation to the pet shelter (I think they use it for bedding?).  I may fish the black ones back out, having realized the scraps can be cut into 1" strips for the crocheted rug weaving I keep planning to do.  Old white T-shirts are only useful for cleaning rags, and I have plenty of these, thanks!  So, I inventoried my ginormous pile of T's, and realized I have 3 bankers boxes full!  I guess we won't be running out of napkins anytime soon!

I have tried making other things--like shopping bags out of them.  The bags came out cute, and were easy, but turned out to be too stretchy/flimsy for groceries.  My solution the to the local plastic bag ban did not pan out.  The T-shirt bags are perfect for carrying yarn around, of which I do have a lot....but that's another problem for another day! 

Excuses, Excuses

Gosh, where have I *been* for the last 2 months?!  Work busy, which has gotten increasingly hectic in the last few months.  I spent a week in Asia teaching night shift, and then came home to catch my breath briefly before our annual company user conference, plus launch a major new program.   Add in one child breaking his ankle at the start of spring break, and the other child needing serious "consequence" talks about grades, and well, really, just life at its typical fast pace.

I've had lots of ideas for blog posts, and I will try to get to them soon, but tonight is about commitment to getting back on a regular writing (and reading!) schedule.  I haven't even been reading and commenting blogs much, life has been so crazy.  Now that summer schedule is in session, I am hoping around all the mini-vacation and summer camp changes to routine, I'll do a better job of committing *something* to this blog.

In the meantime, I'll just share this lovely picture of DH's Father's Day gift.  We've had a Tolkien calendar hanging around for years, slightly water-stained in one corner, with the intention of framing the reprints of the artwork JRR did for his books.  This one is our favorite, and now looks totally awesome hanging in our dining room.  I haven't had anything custom framed in a long time, so I was a bit sticker-shocked when I got the quote, but we will love this forever.

Recycled Resolutions

Nothing original this year.  3 simple remixes from last year:

Eat Less/Exercise More/Get rid of Crap from the house

I made some progress on the diet/exercise thing last year, but have slid backward again after August with work stress and holiday binging.  Will try to fix both now.  I have been testing out a new pedometer from a friend.  I walk much less when I am working--didn't expect as big a difference as I have seen, though:  3000 steps vs. 300!  I wonder if it doesn't work as well clipped to my waistband (work clothes) vs. in my pocket (jeans at home).

The 3rd is motivated by my longstanding history as a hoarder, which I learned at my mother's knee as a child. This link posted by a friend on FB reminded me why I want to clear some of that stuff out of my life.

We had a productive weekend as Barley invited me to help him clean up his room, which included getting rid of lots of toys from his closet.  We also cleared out space in the garage for the Foosball table and the punching bag.  Now we need lamps and heaters for this newly usable space. (more stuff to buy!)

How'm I doing?

Life and work are very busy, as you no doubt surmised from my lack of posting.  I'll try to skate by today with a quick update on my New Year's resolutions, and hope for more energy and inspiration later this month.

Resolution 1: Lose Weight
While I have not had any measurable success in this area, I've had 3 weeks in a row of making it to the gym multiple times.  One of my girlfriends has changed to a 4-10 work schedule, leaving her with Mondays free.  We've been meeting at the gym at 7am to do cardio.  Even if one of us is late, or can't make it, just knowing someone might be at the gym waiting for me helps motivate me to get out of bed.  And once I've become a sweaty tired mess, somehow the rest of Monday doesn't seem so daunting.  Anything work-related has got to be better than more cardio, right?

Getting to the gym Monday morning also makes getting there other mornings a little bit easier.  I don't know that I will ever look forward to it, but if it becomes enough of a habit, that will be good enough. 

My diet isn't really any better, so no weight loss.  DH has cut out processed sugar from his diet the last 2 weeks, so lacking company, I may just end up cutting back as well.

Resolution 2: Clear out the House
Not much progress there--shredded a few bags of papers from the home office, but you can't really tell there is any difference.  Need more time for this, but there hasn't been much to spare.

Resolution 3: Finish Projects
I am making good progress on my brother's sweater.  Front, Back, and one sleeve are finished.  One sleeve, sewing together, neckline, and blocking remain to be done.  I'd like to get it to him so he can enjoy it this winter.  Luckily for me, winter on the East Coast looks to be lasting a couple more months (Sorry guys!).  Two pairs of socks for the boys are about 75% complete as well, so we are getting there. And I haven't started anything new, so that is progress of a sort.

Maybe more exciting updates next month.

The grass is always greener on the dark side

After almost a year and a half of trying to do the right thing, we've gone back over to the dark side.  We've historically had a fantasy relationship with our lawn, which meant I fantasized that DH would patrol the lawn with a weed fork like my dad used to (minus the black socks, dress shoes, and plaid shorts), and DH fantasized that the lawn took care of itself.

We have in the past, after learning just how incompetent we both are at maintaining the outside of our home, hired lawn guys.  Our first lawn guy had maintained our first purchased home for years for the previous owner, and we canceled upon moving in.  Weeks of unmowed lawn and rangy looking hedges, finally culminating in automatic sprinklers which did not work due to someone (not me) snipping the wiring with hedgetrimmers.  That and a horizontal flood in our garage (long story) convinced us to pay for help.

We've moved twice since, and inherited lawn guys again, continuing the service utilized by the previous owner.  When work and income slowed down last year, we cut several expenses, the lawn service among them.  I passed a neighbor using an old-fashioned push mower, and asked him where he got it.

No more loud obnoxious leaf-blowers, no more grumpy lawn guy complaining about the fence to the backyard falling apart, no more gas-guzzling polluting mower.  Our boys are 8 and 11 now, and can help with the mowing and raking.  We can DO this!

Funny how I never noticed before that the %$#%$@# magnolia tree drops huge Jurassic Park style leaves ALL year long.  And the push mower works best when the lawn is mowed regularly.  When the grass is so high that it lies down, the push mower just kind of flattens it more.

Well, DH's hours have picked up again, so I guess we can swing the $50 per month for the mow & blow lawn guy and his crew to start grooming the grass again. It sure looks a heck of a lot better after they are done.  I imagine our neighbors are relieved.

Math Enrichment vs. Camp Galileo

We have in years past sent our boys to Camp Galileo. They are all over the Bay Area, and we have been very happy with them.  The focus on creativity, with science added in, has been FABULOUS.  Fridays included special ending ceremonies, songs and skits, and piles of architectural wonders.  Roller coasters, bridges, all types of art set within their historical context ("This is surrealism, mommy").  It also seemed like they learned a new version of Tag every day!  The kids were always jazzed, and maybe mildly heat-stroked from all the outside time.  Good times, man.

Teddy has aged out of the program now, and Barley always was happier when Teddy went to Galileo with him.  He opted not to attend Galileo this simmer since Teddy could not go with him.  Given the $350 price tag--over $400 by the time extended care was added--that was fine with us, actually.  But part of us were sad that he would opt out of this very rich, very creative experience.

Instead, he is back in Math Enrichment this summer.  He went last summer too, and really enjoyed both the daily math, but also the structure of program.  While Teddy is a free spirit, and loves anything new, thrilling, different, exciting, Barley prefers to know what is coming next.  Based on behavior and other signs of anxiety, we could tell the daily school-like routine was much less stressful for him than changing camps every week.

This week is the first week of summer programs.  Barley was going all negative on me last week, depressed that his friends were not coming to Math Enrichment with him (don't call it Math Camp a la iCarly, he will correct you!).  He also learned he would miss a trip to laser tag, with the summer camp his brother is going to.  I was worried that he would decide not to have fun, and a miserable 8 weeks would be ahead of us.

Luckily, he has met up with some friends from last summer, and is getting back into the routine.  He has been extolling the virtues of Math Enrichment over Camp Galileo all week at pickup time.  It seems some of the "zany fun" that Galileo encourages, actually embarrassed Barley.  Mind you, he's been going there for 3 years before this, and he never before mentioned not liking any part of it.  Some of this might be revisionist history.  However, it does make some sense that our rigid, inflexible, averse to change child might have been less comfortable in an environment which was such a perfect one for our Steve Martin-esque class clown.  I'm glad we signed Barley up for math again this summer, since he loves it so much.  And I am also glad we persuaded Teddy NOT to attend Math Enrichment, and found more new and enriching programs for him instead.

Teddy's joy this week?  He re-discovered Gary Larson's Far Side cartoons at the library.  All week, he's been showing us the cartoons from the book he borrowed.  To him, they are fresh new humor, absurdly funny!  To us, they remind us of our college days, full of sarcasm and irony.  It's been fun reliving these old gems with him.

Why my coffee is cold in the morning

DH and I have trained taught the boys to make coffee in the morning--they are usually up 30 minutes earlier than we are, being motivated to get in some videogame time before the 8:00am ban.  We have a prescribed daily routine for 8:00am to 8:45am to get them and the designated drop-off parent out of the house in an orderly fashion on school days,

Some days, I grab my coffee and run out the door, leaving DH to supervise the boys as he gets himself ready for work.

On work-at-home days, I can keep the boys on task so he can shower and dress in peace.  Still in my robe, I come down, check on the boys, and remind them to turn off the videogames.  Their attention is then glued to the widescreen TV and a movie about  Agent Cody Banks.  They have to be prodded to get themselves food and eat it.

I get my coffee (Thanks, boys!) and start getting my oatmeal together.  I notice there is no clear counter space in the kitchen.  The dishwasher was not emptied yesterday, so a day's worth of dishes, cups, pots, pan are stacked on the side of the sink.  I start emptying, and filling, and realize the garbage is full.  Call over eldest son to take them out.  It will take him 2 trips to get both garbage and recyclables.

As he comes back in, I realize he is only wearing socks.  He doesn't want to bother with shoes, and I remind him he has to get shoes on anyway for school.  I check the feet of youngest son, and he is similarly unshod--I remind him to get his on.  Then I remind them to get stuff ready.  Got your books?  Any papers for me to sign?

Barley remembers now that he doesn't like what is being served for lunch today--can I make him a sandwich?  I have just thrown out the lunch meat of questionable age from the fridge, so PB&J is the only option.  I question Barley--any new kids in your class who are allergic to peanuts?  He shakes his head No.  With a close friend who is allergic, he is sensitive to this information.

The microwave is beeping at me, my oatmeal is ready, but of course I don't have time.  I am packing a lunch, rinsing grapes, reminding boys to put on shoes.  DH calls down asking if I have seen his belt.  No, I haven't.  Barley is looking for his new yo-yo. I haven't seen that either.

Finally, the boys are shod, jacketed, packed and ready to go.  DH has his keys in his hand, and as they are walking out the door, Teddy remembers he wanted to bring his Harry Potter book to school.  Upstairs, downstairs, kitchen, living room...finally it is found under a couch cushion.  They all troop out the door, and I lock the door behind them.

Back in the kitchen, my oatmeal has congealed and my coffee is cold.  Thank goodness for microwaves.

Why it takes so long to walk to school

Walking the boys to school takes 15 minutes.  Walking home without them takes 10 minutes.  Here is a picture story explaining the time difference:

When walking with 2 boys, they must walk along any large tree roots near the sidewalk.  Ideally without touching the grass.

Any insertions into the lawn, like water access covers like this, must be stepped, danced, or jumped upon.  Each and every single one.

 Even when there are several panels on the same small lawn.

When I walked the boys to preschool around the corner, I learned there were 32 such panels on the way.

If the sidewalk square has an "S" imprinted on it, boys must back up 10 feet, to leap across said square entirely, without touching it.  If the 11-year old is rolling a wheeled backpack full of heavy textbooks, this is much harder to do.

 If any of these thrilling activities fail to amuse, there are also these other options:

• Chasing or tripping your brother (try to avoid doing same to Mom)
• Racing to the corner to push the crosswalk signal
• Noticing bugs, birds, lawn trimmings, odd weeds
• Crunching seed shells dropped from the trees
• Kicking old fruit fallen from same trees
• Looking for birds nests

The walk home without the boys is faster and quieter, but much less interesting.

Pleasantly kidnapped

I was sitting on the floor of my living room, minding my own dang business putting away Christmas ornaments (yes, I know I'm a bit late), when the doorbell rang.  The Girl Scouts have all turned in their cookie order forms, and we don't get foot traffic very often, so I got up off the floor wondering who it might be.

Three of my girlfriends, all grinning wicked, and telling me, "Surprise! You're being kidnapped!"

Apparently my husband knew about this all along, and his protestations about my not making any plans on Saturday because he would "need me to watch the boys" were all a big hoax to keep me from filling up the time with errands.  That explains him rolling his eyes at me the night before when I told him I would take the boys out and about town to keep them out of his hair.

They pulled me out of the house, bundled me into my friend Marie's car, and whisked me away for brunch.  They had wanted to get me out of bed early in the morning, and make me go in my PJs and bathrobe, but fortunately, DH intervened.  I would like to pretend that I am the kind of person who can "go with the flow"...but I am not.  Spontaneity does not come naturally to me.  I like to know what is coming, and when, and for how long, and what I need to bring, etc.  (Barley gets much of his rigidity from me, I am afraid)  Plus, I am really NOT a morning person.

11:00am on a Saturday when my husband has cleverly prevented me from planning anything, other than putting Christmas ornaments away, that I can handle.

We had a merry time over brunch, catching up with each other's holiday events.  This is a great group of gals that I've been getting to know this last year.  We all knit or crochet, and have formed a book club with another friend.  This is actually my third circle of friends that I have followed Marie into.  It all started years ago when I met Marie through my old career in financial planning.  We had so much in common, she invited me and DH into her circle of game-playing friends.  Then I followed her to a fiber arts group meeting in the mountains.  And most recently, this intimate circle of girlfriends who have known each other for years.  They (we now) support each other through illness, house moves, job woes, and all the other trials and tribulations that life lays out for us.

And sometimes, they just come kidnap you in the middle of quiet day, to treat you to brunch, and hang out at a local coffee shop, watching the world go by and checking in to make sure you're still OK.

I am truly blessed.

Not too old to snuggle...

Illness, work, and stormy weather have contrived to keep me away from my blog.  Short bit for now, hope to catch up more this weekend.

Even at 11 and 8, the boys will still come and snuggle.  Teddy is less inclined to, as Tween independence starts to kick in.  Barley, on the other hand, will jump in the chair next to me whenever I am watching TV--which has been more often the last couple of weeks as DH and I have taken turns fighting off colds.

They are so large, that they no longer fit neatly on our laps.  They must sandwich in next to us, often requiring us to shift our positions to accommodate them.  Since the time when they will no longer want to do this is rapidly approaching, DH and I gladly make room.

These days will not last long--have to savor them while we can, even if it means losing the food network or football we were watching for yet another Spongebob episode.  Small price to pay.

Break's Over, Back On Your Heads!

The title today is the punchline to an old favorite joke.  I'll share it at the end, but I'm telling the joke backwards now.  Funny, I've been doing that all day.

These holidays have wrung me out.  It could have been the gray weather we've been having here in NorCal.  Or work stress.  (But it didn't ease up when the last of my year-end deadlines passed without the world ending.)  It could be a new prescription I am on, or some hormonal flux.

But now that the holidays are over, and I find myself practically EAGER to tear down the Christmas decorations, I must face that it was probably holiday blues. I felt this way last year too, but blamed it on a very stressful family vacation to "the happiest place on earth."  (When your kid gets sick on his birthday, and the whole family is stressed out and taking it out on each other...not so much)

I am actually very relieved to be getting back to work. Expectations are clear (I am fortunate to have a good boss), I am confident and competent, and most things are under my control.  My first day back, and already I have 3 weeks of travel and teach ahead of me, some of it international.  But by agreeing, I get to be the hero.  It's so NICE to be appreciated.

This last month, with more of the focus on home and trying to be Martha (who I ain't!), I think I just felt inadequate.  The things that I was most worried about (son's behavioral issues, sibling's health) will take time to resolve, and I can contribute maybe 5% of the solution to the problem.  The burden of the hard work and life changes have to be shouldered by other people.  Since I can't fix these very important problems instantly, I instead focused on more trivial matters, like decorating my house, or getting my Christmas cards out.  If I just do those things perfectly, then everything else will work out OK, right?

So, I am glad to be back at work, where I have more control over things.  I am glad to see the boys return to school, where someone else has the joy of disciplining them for at least 5 hours per day.  I can be happy to see them and ask how their day was, rather than grousing at them to turn off the video games after 10 hours of playing non-stop (and stop teasing/poking/bugging/hitting each other!).

I have a feeling the sun is coming back out too.

Here's the joke that goes with the punchline:

This guy dies, and unfortunately finds he has arrived in Hell. The Devil shows him his options for eternal punishment...in the first room--people are standing on their heads on a wooden floor.  In the second room,  people are standing on their heads on a cement floor.  In the third room, however, people are standing upright, sipping tea, in a room where the floor is covered in a noxious liquid that comes to their ankles.  The guy decides he will take his eternal punishment in  room 3, since they are at least not standing on their heads. 

Once the door shuts, the guard announces "Break's over, back on your heads!"

Oh, and if you could use a good laugh after this somber musing, go read this funny post about a wardrobe malfunction in Albany, NY.  It definitely lifted my mood!

Can we install that in my house?

My lovely Northwestern sister-in-law "Wren" sent me this video about making exercise more fun. Boy, could I totally use that in my house!



Following up on my earlier post about walking to my doctor appointments, I have resolved to start walking the kids to school more often.  I had it in my head that this was also a 15 minute walk, and determined to time it today.  I keep reviewing the schedule for time to get to the gym, and it is honestly just packed full.  I need little changes like this to build up to a bigger life change.

The boys barely complained at all--more like they had to give lip-service to complaining than really minding.

I've walked them home before, usually in the spring when things are warmer, and it has always been pleasant.  They point out to me where friends live, and like to look at the house that always has the most decorations on it.  Being so close to Halloween, we were able to check it out on the way to school today.

I've also noticed that they get hyper in the last 10 minutes before it is time to to walk out the door (and at bedtime, and after school...hmmm, transitions, maybe?)  Walking to school gives them a chance to burn some of that energy off.

It took 8 minutes (!) to get to the blacktop, 10 minutes for Barley's line which is on the backside of the building.  This included a little bit of monkeying around on the sidewalk on the way.  So, most of the time, when I've been shoving them in the car at 15 minutes to the bell, we would have had time to walk it instead.  Better for me, better for them, better for the environment.  I feel stupid for the past, but will do better in the future.

California living

After my jaunt back East, I find myself cataloguing differences between living in California vs. the Midwest or back East.  Some things I have had to get used to living in California:

1. Wearing shorts to elementary school is perfectly acceptable, so long as they are not too short.  Bottom hem should be past the fingertips.  Shorts into October is also normal.
2. Year 1 in California, DH and I laughed at all the wimps running around in ski jackets in February.  There was no snow in sight, and our Midwest inner temperatures told us that 60 degree weather was practically shorts weather.  We don't need no stinkin' jackets!
3. Year 2 in California, DH and I learned that blood thins quickly, and we too donned wool and extra layers as those freezing 50's and 60's temperatures arrived
4. You do not need your umbrella after April or before October.
5. You only need an ice scraper if you are going to Lake Tahoe to go skiing.  I had a California friend spy the scraper in the back seat of the car that moved with us from the midwest.  She picked it up, and asked, "What's this?"  Really.
6. No autumn leaf show.  Since the weather can be warm into December, the trees all seem to give up on summer at different times.  Many of them do change colors, and there are some bare trees in the winter, but there is no one coordinating the effect.  Kind of like the rest of West Coast culture, every tree does its own thing.
7. The blondes are in the minority.  At least here in Northern California.  That might not be the case closer to LA, where some of the Koreans are even blonde.  Here, though, there is such a mix of Asian, Mexican, Indian, European, that most everyone in our child's school is some shade of tan/brown.  Even the Caucasian kids are darker than back East, since they get to run around in the sun all winter long.  
8. While there are exceptions, people are more health conscious related to diet and excercise.  Restaurants don't tend to serve you 16 ounces of steak with one carrot on the side.  DH and I still need to improve our own habits, which we learned back East.
9. GREAT restaurants.  In addition to the more easily found Chinese, Mexican, Italian and Japanese food, we have also enjoyed great Afghan, Ethiopian, Indian (North and South), Korean, Mongolian, and Mediterranean food here.  There are many others which we have not yet tried, but I am sure we will!  One thing missing from back East--Jewish delis are in short supply--and finding a good corned beef or pastrami sandwich?  Impossible.

How Lazy Am I? (Don't answer that...)

It took so long to get a parking space when I went to my clinic for a check-up the other day, that I thought it was finally time for me to just start walking from my house.  It wasn't that far away, and not having to circle the parking lot, avoiding kids, old people with walkers, and oblivious pedestrians seemed appealing.

I got a prescription, and didn't have time to pick it up, so I decided to walk back for it yesterday.  I was ready for it to take about 15 minutes each way--which would eat into my lunch hour pretty well.  Oh well--gotta be better than taking 10 minutes to park!

I put on my sneakers (yes, I still call them that, even though every other place I've lived calls them "tennis shoes."  I don't play tennis.)  I noted the time on my cell phone, and walked over at a brisk pace.  It is a cool day, but not cool enough for a jacket.  Since I am not truly sick, I walked fast enough to work up a light shine, but not a real sweat.  When I arrived at the pharmacy, after dodging oblivious drivers, I checked my cell to see how long that had taken.  My bet was closer to 15 minutes than 20.

8 minutes.

Long hecka lazy 8 minutes!

I've lived here for 6 years, and never walked over before.  8 minutes is less time than it takes to find a #$@#$#$% parking space!  There was no line at the pharmacy, so I breezed in and out.  Walked a little slower going home, to see how long it might take if I had a cold or something else that forced me to amble more than trot.

10 minutes.  There goes my last excuse for not walking...sheesh!

Secret Fort in the dining room

I was a bit sleep-deprived last night, because someone was snoring very loudly. After nudging 3 times to rollover, it seemed the snoring would continue in any position, so I gave up and headed downstairs to sleep on the couch at 3 in the morning.

I also went walking with a friend after a summer hiatus, and I am really out of shape. I was chanting encouragement to myself halfway up the the first hill, which was not good, since I had another hill to go before we were done.

I returned home physically and mentally tired, and faced a day of watching both boys alone as DH headed out to an all-day poker tournament at a friend's house. I desperately needed a nap, and was trying to snooze on the couch while the boys played in the afternoon. At one point, some bickering started to escalate, so I started to get up, and grumpily informed the boys that if they could not play together nicely and quietly (so I could sleep), we would all go out shoe-shopping since they need new sneakers. They both promised me up and down that they could work out whatever the issue was, and would not bother me again.

They were as good as their word, and I blissfully slept for several hours. When I awoke, I discovered they had turned our dining room into an ultra-cool fort! Teddy had draped blankets off the edge of the dining table, and weighted the edges down with the following objects:

• DH's laptop computer
• DH's briefcase
• new card game boxes
• 2 dictionaries
• full box of Magic cards
• one of DH's law case files

Inside, Barley had furnished and decorated the space with:

• wooden Korean-style table
• footstool
• tape measure
• telescope
• papers with secret codes
• playing cards
• folding chair to block the one entrance
• floor pillow to sit on

It's a pretty cozy space for hiding out and spying from. This reminds me of a green metal table I loved as a kid. My favorite thing to do with it was drape a blanket over the whole thing and hide under it. Private space is a such a rare commodity for kids--I treasured it when I could get it.

Major Themes

I keep thinking of posts and half-finishing them. There are a lot of major themes going on in life right now, and they are too big or too personal to blog about. To avoid complete radio silence, I will try just summing up the themes, and maybe I will find a way later to explain in more detail:

• Starting with the good news--work is going well. I don't plan to go into a lot of detail here, and while more money, better title would always be appreciated, I must confess that I am content at the moment. My boss is giving me the right balance of challenge; enough to keep me interested, but not so much that I feel overwhelmed. This is a great change of pace from prior years where stress or utter boredom were the choices. And in these economic times, I am grateful to be employed and satisfied--seems like a miracle, actually.
  
  
• The boys are challenging us these days. Between Barley's anger management, and Teddy's crossing into the challenging "Tween" years, DH and I have our hands very full. There are days where I wish I could just walk away from everything. It is just as well that work is going OK for me, as I can really only handle 1 crisis in my life at a time. And I am grateful that there are 2 of us to handle the boys, as they would surely grind us down one at a time until there is nothing left but dust and frustrated intentions.
  
  
• The marriage is doing all right. Not enough couple time, but that is typical in Silicon Valley. Certainly we've weathered some nasty storms, but the sea is calming and the hull of the ship is intact. We're making good time to reach a safe port.
  
  
• Health is good all around. Physical health, anyway. Mental health is being challenged by the boys' developmental stuff. Hopefully we'll survive this patch and raise boys into respectable men.
  
  
• Wealth...well, that's not doing too well. Not a surprise in this economy, but with DH only working part-time, and our house now worth less than our mortgage (and we put 30% down!), that makes paying that fat old mortgage that much more depressing each month. We'll keep our fingers crossed with the rest of the country that things have to get better in a few years.
  
  
• Happiness seems to come and go with my hormones. There was a day earlier this week when everything in life seemed grand, and I could think about my life and see only the blessings I have to be grateful for--and there are many! I'll list them here to remind myself when hormones swing the other direction again in 20 minutes: health, job, marriage, beautiful bright boys, home, neighborhood, the president I wanted, living in America, living in California, friends, a precious hour to myself. Then I can almost feel the tide of brain chemicals turn, and the undertow of depression creeps in. Suddenly my rose-colored glasses fog up, and all I can see is everything that is not the way I want it in my life. A rough day with the boys can bring this on in just a few snarky comments, or a sharp kick or punch from Barley. Seeking indeed...but what?

There are other minor themes going on as well, but they take a back seat to the major ones. No solutions here today, or bright funny comments to wrap up with. Just my life as it is, and the reasons why some days I have a harder time coming up with clever, amusing posts than others.

For the moment, seeking caffeine, sugar, or some good escapist literature.