Thursday, December 17, 2009

Rough week

It has been a rough couple of weeks around here.  Barley has been having more and more trouble controlling his impulses at school, resulting in calls about behavior and consequences at recess and in school.  He's been benched a lot, which is not a good situation for a kid who needs to move around.  He can't even sit still at dinner each night, and stands, hops, and twirls while DH and I admonish him to sit down while he is chewing.  It's amazing he has not yet choked or required a tracheotomy.

We have no objection to consequences, and do not doubt that Barley made poor decisions that resulted in his earning the benchings fairly.  Things were just  pretty miserable around here last week when Barley also earned himself a 10-minute time out during class, and it happened to coincide with his friend's school party.   Barley was required to throw out the cupcake he was about to chow down on.

He was also absolutely beside himself at the threat of seeing the Principal over last week's behavior.  He is already acquainted with her, due to earlier events with a friend this school year.  We all breathed a sigh of relief when Friday evening finally arrived and we could put that week behind us.

Our brief respite from worry and stress ended with another call on Monday.  Turns out that our darling has been accused of bullying another child "for some time."  We've been talking with Barley and spoken to the teacher to get more details.  Having been bullied persistently in grade school, I am extremely unhappy about this situation.  We have Barley on yet another "behavior plan"--we must go through 4 or 5 a year.  And we have an appointment on Friday with a promising behavioral therapist recommended by a friend.

We've had this recommendation for 6 months, and hesitated to book this because a) they are very expensive, b) the paperwork required before the first appointment is 10 pages long, and c) the only appointments they offered required that Barley miss school for a half day.  We hate having him miss school.

Given the discipline trend the last few weeks, these excuses seem pretty weak.  For those interested in details, this weekend I will blog our saga of seeking help for Barley.  It's been a long road spanning 4 years.  Here's hoping tomorrow shows us a light at the end of the tunnel...and it's not an oncoming train!


  1. We've had our share of phone calls. ;-)

    Does your school district provide counseling? Our district is low on funds, but bullying is a high priority. They provide behavioral services both for the bullied and the bullies (to train them not to bully).

  2. We haven't asked the school actually, and given they don't have enough money to buy paper for the classrooms, I doubt it. Besides, we figure we need the help at home too, since that is where most of the acting out really happens. Might as well treat the entire situation, not just one isolated incident.

    Thanks for stopping in--you found me quick!

  3. So sorry about these tribulations. I'm "blessed" that my youngest is only a hard-to-handle lad at home.

    Regarding the sitting while eating: I've stopped enforcing that on the school yard. As long as the boys -- and, yes, it's only boys -- have a place on the lunch bench to sit, they can stand to eat. There have to be 10 or so (out of 240) who just cannot sit to eat.

    Looking forward to reading your saga.


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