Sports Complex, Part 1 of 3

Hey there all, sorry for the hiatus there.  Work got really busy, and with the end of the school year and all that, sleep has been more important than almost any other activity I can think of.

Among all the other end of year activities was Barley's final soccer game of the regular season (playoffs next month).  They were up against a reputedly tough team, undefeated.  Our team had lost for the first time the week before, supplementing its 2 ties.  The team that beat us that weekend was lower ranked than ours, and we had expected a simple win, even with one of our best players out of town.  Instead, it was a tight game, and the other guys just wanted it more.

The parents were all prepped for a rough game this weekend, though we tried not to tell our boys that ahead of time. Another tight game--our team seems to play a lot harder when up against a tougher team.  By halftime, we were ahead 2 to 1.

Then Barley replaced our best goalie in the net.  The play went back and forth, lots of focus on both sides, when the other team scored, tying up.  Barley did not look happy.  DH beside me was so tense, I thought he would break the arm off his chair.  Our forwards tried hard to score another ball, but were held back again and again.  Then, 2 minutes before the end of the game, the other team got another ball past Barley.

The coach pulled Barley out of the net immediately, replacing him with the 3rd goalie of the day.  I watched Barley sit out the end, anxious about how he would react, and how the other boys would be treating him.  When we all got in the car to go home, we learned several things that I found upsetting:

1. The coach did not speak to Barley after pulling him from the net
2. The other boys told Barley that it was his fault they lost the game.  This included the #1 goalie, who the week before had been very upset about letting the other team score to win.
3. The coach called out each of the other boys by name, complimenting them on some aspect of the game, but not Barley

Of course the mood in the van was pretty gloomy heading home.  The other boys hassling Barley was no surprise.  They are young, and immature.  The other goalie blamed himself when they lost, so it was not much of a leap to blame Barley as a fellow goalie.

We talked to Barley as a family, reminding him that soccer is a TEAM sport, and no one single person loses a game--nor wins one for that matter.  Every person on the team depends on the others to move the ball forward, or prevent the ball from coming to the goalie in the first place.

Then DH asked Barley if he really thought he should have been able to stop either of the 2 balls that got past him.  Barley considered, and said he thought the second one.  DH pointed out why that wasn't the case.  (I will admit it looked to me like Barley was standing on the wrong side of the net, but I kept that thought to myself)  DH reviewed it for us, and said in his opinion, it was a good play, and a solid kick by the other team.  They were fast, well-positioned, and Barley was alone--no defenders near him.  He blocked the shot the other team looked like they wanted to make, and they kicked a high hard angle over his head into the other corner.

If the shots had really been ones that Barley had "blown", then DH said he would let Barley know, so they could practice and be ready for it next time.  But there was not anything that Barley did wrong this time, and to try to shake it off.  Which I am pleased to report, he did, escaping into the omnipresent videogames around our house.

Click to read Part II of this series.