Sunday, July 25, 2010

Turn your head and ...

I never knew what that phrase "Turn your head and cough" meant until I was an old married lady and my husband explained it to me.  Seems to be a rite of passage as boys grow into men.  We didn't think about that as I scrambled to get Teddy's and my medical forms completed to go on the Scout sponsored camping trip this month.  After slogging through the HMO call center to get the necessary appointment, I took Teddy in to see the doctor.

He was anxious about whether or not shots would be involved--I honestly had no idea.  Then he was taken aback when the nurse gave him 2 paper sheets to drape around himself, and instructed him to take all his clothes off, except for his underwear.  A little self-conscious, he did as instructed, wrapping himself up like a mummy, then sat and waited for the doctor.

He had met her before, when we discovered he had pneumonia a few months ago.  She is nice, friendly, perky even.  Deep breaths for the chest exam, stick your tongue out, look in your ears, all old hat and no problem

Then she wanted to check out his boy parts.

"Whaaaaaattt???!!"  He laughed out loud, "NO way!"

Smiling, but serious, she instructed him to unwind his sheet, lie on his back and let her see if everything looked normal. He looked over at me for help, I just shrugged at him.  I actually didn't really know what was coming, but I wasn't volunteering to take her place or anything.  SHE's the doctor.

What followed after that has got to be THE funniest 5 minutes in my life as a parent.  There was a lot of  scurrying away from the doctor, and the following exclamations were heard,


"Trust me, there are 2 of them!  Now leave me alone!"

"She's my MOM--I don't care if SHE sees anything.  YOU'RE a stranger!!"

Now, Teddy can be a master comedian in the most serious, and often inappropriate moments.  But his over the top expressions of shock and embarrassment at what the female doctor wanted to do to his "boy parts" had all 3 of us laughing to the point of barely breathing.

Click here for a hilarious description of this rite of passage from a family doctor's perspective.  Find out why doctors instruct men to turn their heads first.  Scroll through the comments--they're almost as funny as the blog post!

Teddy was stoic about the two shots he needed after that ordeal.  Poor baby.  I'll make sure DH explains the "Turn your head and cough" instructions before the next one gets to that age.

1 comment:

  1. We have a male doctor, who escorted me out of the room when Eldest went for his 12-year check-up. With Daughter, when she was about 10.5, though, he made a big point of talking about how, yes, he's a man and yes, she's becoming a woman. He would understand if she wanted to switch to a female doctor. He would be sad if that happened, but he would totally understand. She was game to stay with him. I don't know how game she'll be at the next check-up, though.


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